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Friday, March 16, 2007

Nanny State Whiz Kids are Number One!

In their never ending quest to protect us from ourselves, the nanny state bureaucracy (you know, the one that is financed through the confiscatory taxing of our wealth) is deploying a high tech program to encourage young men to "be careful out there" after a raucous evening at some bars on Saint Patrick's Day.

From a story in today's Pravda Press:
The Minnesota Department of Public Safety is deploying "talking urinal cakes" in about 100 bars to encourage people not to drink and drive. In St. Paul, patrons may find them at The Liffey and Patrick McGovern's Pub on West Seventh Street.

The cakes, activated by a motion-sensor, offer a message with a woman's sultry voice saying, "Hey there, big guy, having a few drinks?"

The message is targeted toward primary DWI offenders: young men, according to the Department of Public Safety.
Actually, the story understates the size of the splash the vital message makes. You can hear the full audio by clicking here (kind of gives a whole new meaning to technology known as "streaming audio", doesn't it?).

The final tidbit of advice the message imparts is "Remember, your future is in your hand". Beavis and Butt-head couldn't have put it any better. Then again, huh-huh, we probably have a lot of real life Beavis and Butt-head types working for the bureaucracy.

When one gets done laughing at the inherent stupidity of the program, not to mention the cheesy production, a little urinalysis of the situation produces a couple of observations:

First, consider the physical environment the actual message will be delivered in. The audio quality is pretty good when played within the pristine (and dry) environment of Algore's internet, but in the field the young woman's voice will probably sound less like Marilyn Monroe and more like Mary Jo Kopechne during the last few minutes of her life (where was the nanny state when she needed it?).

Additionally, why is the concern just with young men? This program appears to illustrate a void (in more ways than one) in the way the nanny state bureaucracy apparently values the safety of women of any age. Ladies, you may have a class action suit in the making here.

Finally, how much will this vital program cost us? Talk about pissing away money!


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